weird feeling .... its coming back

I have this really really weird feeling at the moment and i thought that it had gone away fro good... but apparently not.
It's that kinda feeling where you're all... down, but you feel obliged to be happy... so you ARE happy in a way.
anyway
i have the feelign. and it is confusing me because i am happy but alot of shit has happened lately...
but anyway, im getting better than i used to be which pretty much means im gunna get worse again...
whenever i have my ups... straigh after i get my down. it sucks but... i guess i should be used to it.
I have doen somethign i want to for a while.. im kinda proud of myself : but i know i will soon :S
it's stupid because i got help... but... it helped and i always had help before but this new kind is so much better...
you have no idea what im on about :P
lmao
anyways.
im off... cos my blog is fucking up
xo