For a long time I have had this feeling... like I want to cry, but I don't have a reason to. So I try to make a reason for myself, I go look for trouble, but then I end up regetting it and wishing I could go back in time. I wish I could learn from my mistakes, but I seem to always make the same mistakes... over and over again. I hurt the ones I love... just to get attention. I hurt the people I hate just to get somethign from it.
I'm here, crying for help. I have the marks to prove i need help. What is there to help? I feel like I have this ever growing hole in my chest... I find it hard to breath half the time. I have everything I could ever dream of... yet I still fuck him over... I wish I could make him as happy as he makes me. I would give him the world to see him smile. I know it sounds stupid, but his smile literally does brighten up my life. He shouldn't love me ... noone should to be honest. Yet people still do, they surround me and that's what I need. So, why am I not satisfied? I know there is a light at the end of this tunnel. The tunnel of teenage-hood. But if only I wasn't less than halfway there. I still have a long journey ahead, and I'm only just starting to prepare myself for it...
**Please god, stay with me**
