AMITY AMITY AMITY

OH EM GEE :)

Amity Affliction tomorrow

woo to the fuckign hoooo

ok so here is the plan:

-Get dressed and take panadol (JUST IN CASE)

-Make my way to Flinders; hoping im not late =]

-Meet everyone at Flinders steps at 10 AM

-Make our way to the wonderous world of Richmondo

-Wait in line at the Corner Hotel

-Get a good spot in the mosh

-Listen to Amity

-Hope we don't get bashed :)

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whitman- Song of myself

A child said What is the grass? fetching it to me with full hands; How could I answer the child? I do not know what it is any more than he.

I guess it must be the flag of my disposition, out of hopeful green stuff woven.

Or I guess it is the handkerchief of the Lord, A scented gift and remembrancer designedly dropt, Bearing the owner's name someway in the corners, that we may see and remark, and say Whose?

Or I guess the grass is itself a child, the produced babe of the vegetation.

Or I guess it is a uniform hieroglyphic, And it means, Sprouting alike in broad zones and narrow zones, Growing among black folks as among white, Kanuck, Tuckahoe, Congressman, Cuff,

I give them the same, I receive them the same.

And now it seems to me the beautiful uncut hair of graves.

I hate this, i hate the awkwardness of it all... it is so stupid but we cannot escape it. Every passing second if a cough just to hide the vacancy of speech, to disguise that all thoguht of conversation has been used up... I wish everything could go back to normal, I really really do... but it doesn't seem like it will be the same again.... I miss you, I love you, I still need you....

Why can't I be that girl who makes everythign better not worse?

Why can't I be that girl who makes you smile not frown?

Why can't I be that girl who makes the sun shine on a cloudy day?

Why can't I be that girl who makes your life happy and not shit?

Why can't I be that girl... who isn't me?

Is this what hell feels like? I think I'm there...

I feel like the worst girlfriend ever

I feel like the worst person ever

I " don't care " about anyone but me

I wish i could take back time

okay, for starters... noone truly knows what is wrong with me... why I do certain things... so they think I just overreact and nothing is actually wrong

and then somethign else happens to another person.... and I feel so shit for them.. but I don't show it

I don't show sympathy for people

but I know I feel it

Do you ever wish you could change who you are,

chang how you act

change how you make others feel

?

It's stupid... I used to feel alot of things, like i would cry openly. now? now everything is just... emotionless so to speak.

e.g i was crying cos of something and for about a minute i was in hysterics and i stopped completly and thoguth about how i didn't even feel sad...

I don't know if that is good or not .... but I can't help it :S

but i guess the whole 'goign away for 2 months' thing is coming at a good time

I need to get out of here and clear my head for a while

i know my life doesnt seem "shit" but ... I'm allowed to feel sorry for myself even if it isn't always... right?

I just read a poem my friend wrote that i thought was really... true

Who would think that you could go from a little kid, to a major fuck up at life?

You had the world at your finger tips, now you have it behind a locked door.

You'd spend hours alone in bed playing with toy before going to sleep, now you spend hours in bed pashing your boyfriend.

You were so ignorant to the real ugly world, now you would give anything to know nothing again.

Devotion was giving your guy friend you favourite toy, not your virginity

The hardest thing you had to solve was what to have for lunch, now it's how to go a day without crying.

Don't you miss it when things were hard you could have a cookie and it would be ok again?

Don't you miss it how when somethign goes wrong, you could solve it with a hug?

Don't you miss it how whenever you go hurt, a simple bandaid could fix it all?

Don't you miss it all?

THINGS THAT ANNOY ME:

- When you're in sex ed and someone says "uh my freind wants to know..."
everyone knows you mean YOU

- When someone is online on msn but the "can't talk cos they're doing homework'

why are you bothering being online if you can't talk!?

- Soft apples... not the hard crunchy ones that i love

you are supposed to taste YUM!

- "youse guys"

learn english you bogan!

- Old peopel who still dress young and act it

you had your time... now give us ours!

- Poles

they get in the way when i walk

- feet...

they are creepy and un-needed

- People who have a cold yet still try to breath through their noses

most annoying sound in the world

- People who think I'm emo cos of the music i listen to...

alot more makes people "emo"

- People who dont love their boyfriend but love the fact that they have one

tthey soon become obsessed and up themselves :)

weird feeling .... its coming back

I have this really really weird feeling at the moment and i thought that it had gone away fro good... but apparently not.
It's that kinda feeling where you're all... down, but you feel obliged to be happy... so you ARE happy in a way.
anyway
i have the feelign. and it is confusing me because i am happy but alot of shit has happened lately...
but anyway, im getting better than i used to be which pretty much means im gunna get worse again...
whenever i have my ups... straigh after i get my down. it sucks but... i guess i should be used to it.
I have doen somethign i want to for a while.. im kinda proud of myself : but i know i will soon :S
it's stupid because i got help... but... it helped and i always had help before but this new kind is so much better...
you have no idea what im on about :P
lmao
anyways.
im off... cos my blog is fucking up
xo

Home group

I just found out my house for marshmead
i got two people i really wanted :)
except one doesnt wanna be with me *sigh*
and i made a spear out of some stick...
im so bored
and my life is boring the crap out of me
i need change
ima dye my hair black- oooh contriversial
im going with my friend to some concert
cso... im awesome (?)
my lip just got caught in my plate LMAO it looked so weird :
i might get a det cos i wagged house swimming... and i got dad to call the school to say i was absent but he called and told them i would be absent TODAY!
he's a douche
:)
im wearing thhermalllssssss
ok.

TO DO:
dye hair
concert
change
pierce lip
do "somethign" in the holis

LIFE
IS
BORING
=]

PIGEONS

I hate them.

You hate them.

We all hate them.

So why don't they just go extinct? They are disgusting, diseased, and fugly birds. If you have ever gone "pigeon watching" you woul know that their feet are disgusting and grossly mutated!

They are not normal! They will some day dominate the world...

They make me wanna be sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And they are seriously inconsiderate!! they shit everywhere and anywhere and without warning!

KILL THEM ALL

is what i say

KILL THEM ALL

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tribute to the Tim Tam

Tim Tams, as I believe are better than anything else in this world- even love. For, as ads have clearly proven... they are love! Anyone who rejects and offer for a tim tam is out of their mind and need to seek help immediatly! I could eat 10 billion packets in a day, I love them that much.

I love thim so much I would name my first son 'Tim' and my first daughter 'Tam'

FINALLY GOT THE TIM TAM THAT I DESERVE!

[Finally my blog works again :) I was getting frustrated for a while.]

I had a full on week lol. nearly everyday after school i had something to do

wed- birthday

thurs- therapist

frid- funeral ++ footy

The footy was pretty cool; I went with my boyfriend and my family. Although I did get a bit bored and some guy called us "lovers"... 'twas weird.

I'm so hungry... why can't I have a butler or somethign to serve me tim tam's non-stop... that would be awesome! how cool would it be if you had a pack of tim tam's and they just kept coming back... wow cool!

*chuckles* I'm eating two tim tams for breakfast :)

GRRR!!

I'm listening to the veronicas.... shoot me
im changing the song :
no... the chorus is good
*shun shun shun*
i just shunned myself :O
Things im addicted to:
Blogging, facebook, msn, omegle, chocolate, mobile, eating foil and suckign keys.
I'm so bored atm :
I'm talking to some stranger (17/f/USA) and she thinks hawthorne heights is a show *rolls eyes* ignorant people. And she shares my hate for pigeons :)
that reminds me...
i need to rant on about pigeons.

i shall in another blog because i feel this one is filled enough :)

mashed potato... OUT!

English

I hate school, it is ssuch a waste of time and the teacher is eyeing me off for chewing gum LMAO; i had to spit out some and then got some more gum and she caught me again so i said it was my plate.... i dont think she believes me anymore seeing as i cant hide my chewing.
i now have to read some classic.... i better not get bludy pride and predjudice *EW*
i realllyyyyy dont wanna read P&P
"mr darcy!"
it all makes me gag the stupid love shit!
I'm so bored of this, can't school be fun like the russian guys hijacking us =) that'd rock.
she's allocating books to us...
someone got tarzan
WTF???
fingers crossed that i dont get pride and predjudice :
I got Dracula... wtf is that :
Meh! it's better than effing P&P XD
something to my liking haha

I love gum :) it tastes nommy nommy in my mouth...
have you ever had that gum thats got like sour liqui d in the middle? and you bite and it liek full on BURSTS in your mouth? they are ORGASMIC =]

i want a tim tam again!!!!!!!!!!!!

What they don't know

To look at me, you wouldn't think that I am the person that I am. I seem like a psycho, always happy, crazy person. I admit 2/3 are true.

-My friends found my blog and were surprised...

-People saw me in the weekend, dressed how i dress... they were surprised

-People heard my music... again, surprised.

Well here is a surprise to anyone who knows me and is reading this

**yes i love escape the fat, black nailpolish, eyeliner and i cry liek a baby :)**

but then again, im crazy...

I like to jump and talk to strangers. I like to sing and eat icecream. I like to dream about hippos eating melons and laugh at people fallign over. I like to imagine eating small children and pretend I am on clouds floating. I like to play guitar and whistle. I like my life and I hate it too.

I'm anythign but ordinary, but then again- point out someone who is...

"Are you getting enough calcium?"

History

I'm currently in History. So bored, I am supposed to be writing letters to my family back home... but I cannot be bothered. Bored in class!! Facebook is doing nothing to me and emails are boring because i have one and none pending! sucks to be me!! Someone come through the door and entertain me! Imagine how cool it would be to have a raid at your school :

** You're stuck in a corner with 5 russian guys with big machine guns scattered aroud the room. You and your best friend are sitting in the corner playing 'thumb war' to keep yourselves occupied during these long hours of being held hostage. Two Russian men are standign at the door**

zomg, how cool would that be!

I now want russian men to hold me and my school up! OMG we would also be on T.V.

HEHE

I like cordial, it tastes nice :) I'm drinking lemon and barley at the moment. It tastes yum yum yummy!!

I want a Tim Tam right now!

MASHED POTATO-OUT

Blog addict

I am officially addicted to blogging. After one day I cannot stop thinking about my next blog. How stupid is this- I even dreamed about blogging. It's so much fun. And completley pointless. So, like... I had a blog I was going to write- but I forgot what it was.

The fairy killer

When I was a little girl, when we still believed that those floaty puff ball things in the air were fairies, I would kill fairies. I was the fairy murderer, any fairy in my eyeshot was history! I would rip off the fluuffy bits and stomp on them whilst my friends watched with open jaws as I killed innocent lives.
In prep I was reading a book with my best friend about dandelions. Previously I had though that they wer bunchesof baby fairies, but I learnt after reading this book that I was sorely mistaken. Shortly after reading the first paragraph I walked up to the teacher, handed her the book and told her this book was incorrect. My best friend then corrected me telling me that, in fact fairies were not real. From that day on, I have never been the same.

BURP

So like... i just totally burped a sausage! But noone was around to hear, and it sucked because I like it when people hear my burps 'cos they stare at me like this...

And I enjoy it....

SUP NIGERRRR

I love you...

he page
I love your smile,
I love your kiss,
I love your hug,
This is what I'll miss.
I love your voice,
I love your smell,
I love your name,
I'm under some stupid spell.
I love your hair,
I love your lips,
I loves your eyes,
My heart just skips.
I love the way,
you say my name.
I love it how,
love is no longer just a game.

Ranting on about nothing

I am about to rant. to this blog. cos I'm cool.

I hated the movie twilight. it was so shit! face it people! YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT EITHER! noone could like such a shit movie!!!!! Everything about it was bad! even the cinematography...!!!!!!!!! THE ACTING WAS SOOO BAD! PEOPLE WAKE UP AND REALISE IT WAS SHIT!

Oh and Taylor Swift has asian eyes... dude LOOK AT THEM!! IT IS SO SCARY!

And her song "love story" . pisses . me . off . You hear everyon in class singing it. It like brainwashes people. It sticks in your head for ages!!! And it is so stupid how in her song she is Juliet and he is Romeo and then they get married... she obviously didn't do her research! they both died you dick head!!!!!!!!!! She is a bludy Hick OK : leave it at that! And wtf is with that diamontee guitar. It doesn't add ANY glam to fuckign country music!!!!

waiting

We lay on the road, hand in hand,
waiting for the cars that never come.
We lay there without saying a word,
watchign clouds move with the wind.
We lay on the road, as i start to sing,
humming tunes that we heard last week.
We lay there without moving a muscle,
with thoughts fillin our minds.
We lay on the road hoping to god,
that this moment won't ever end.

meh!

MEH! MEH! MEH! MEH! MEH! MEH! MEH! MEH! MEH! MEH! MEH! MEH! MEH! MEH! MEH! MEH! MEH! MEH!

Ervin Spint

I'm writing a book and it is called "Ervin Spint".

It is about a 14 year old boy and his friend - Fever Burget.

His Friend runs away so Ervin tries to find him,

but does Fever want to be found?

I chose to put a part of my book in this post because I wanted to.

Hope you like them :)

"Fever isn’t what you could call smart… at all. He reckons that if you concentrate on a bean for long enough, it will grow out a flower; he got this from a TV show we were once watching where this psychic guy grew a flower out of a bean with mind control. 2 weeks after watching it, he invested in 20 bags of beans to ‘focus on’. The school nearly kicked him out once after he failed nearly every subject in one year, the only ones that saved him were P.E and music; top marks for both. To sum him up he is a typical sportsman; stupid. He isn’t like a typical footy guy you see in those teen movies, mainly because he acts like he has smoked so much weed that he is constantly out of it and also because he repels girls. He hasn’t ever had a girlfriend, and I’m likewise. Well I had one once, but she dumped me the day later for Taylor Shane; he plays basketball."

Theory on God

There are many theories on God, Jesus, and higher powers. Theories such as they control us etc. My theory is that it's all in your head. Like a lucky penny you know? Sorry kids, but that penny ain't lucky! It's you thinking it's lucky. Get it? Say your about to play a basketball game, and you have your lucky penny with you. You think, in your mind that this penny will bring you luck, the penny will bring you luck. That is where you are wrong. Again, sorry- it's just a normal 5cent coin that a billion people have touched. So by sayign that this penny is lucky, your also saying that the other billion who touched it are/were lucky too.... saying that you, yourself are lucky, alone with those other people- therefore calling every lucky, meaning you aren't lucky (that makes sense to me... I do not know if it does to you). So anyway. It's all in your head. You're thinkign you're goign to play better because you have this penny, so you play better in the game because your being optimistic and you are thinking about how well you are going to play... so you play better- anyway, i repeating myself. This is my theory about god. That everyone likes to think that there is someoen up there controlling their actions so they feel safer - just like that good ol' lucky penny. And as for heaven, we like to think that after we die... we don't just rott and have magots and worms eating at our eyeballs. But sorry... So far Science is winning against Belief!! So show me your science to prove our "souls" go to heaven and have happy time in the clouds whilst eating ice cream non stop!

The scars

She examined her arm; something dug into her stomach, creating an emptyness. She felt along the lines of each cut she had created the night before. Each one, scabbed over; a barrier of protection - now if only she had her own barrier against everything else in this world; a 'scab' of her own.

She removed her eyes from her fixated stare and pulled down the sleeve of her jumper. The pain she caused herself. The long hours dreading her actions, yet she still returned to the same position she was in now. She asked herself why- this question still remained unanswered after being asked many, many times.

She felt her eyes start to swell; how could there be any tears left to cry? Before she started the water works up again she bit her lip in attempt to stop them from overflowing. She closed her eyes and felt her chin start to shake.

... as tears fall, so do my burdens.

"Each mistake I make,

each countless "sorry" I say.

Each time I hurt you,

I wish it would go away"

Never under estimate the power of the almighty

penguin

Escape The Fate

This is my favourtie band alive. Every song i love. I can't find a single song i don't love. I love the lyrics to all the songs. I have their songs on repeat all the time; i only ever listen to them. Noone knows that i like their songs... I don't seem like the person apparently. but this band gets me thru.... i love the and they are awesome.

"so lock and load"

Why?

For a long time I have had this feeling... like I want to cry, but I don't have a reason to. So I try to make a reason for myself, I go look for trouble, but then I end up regetting it and wishing I could go back in time. I wish I could learn from my mistakes, but I seem to always make the same mistakes... over and over again. I hurt the ones I love... just to get attention. I hurt the people I hate just to get somethign from it.

I'm here, crying for help. I have the marks to prove i need help. What is there to help? I feel like I have this ever growing hole in my chest... I find it hard to breath half the time. I have everything I could ever dream of... yet I still fuck him over... I wish I could make him as happy as he makes me. I would give him the world to see him smile. I know it sounds stupid, but his smile literally does brighten up my life. He shouldn't love me ... noone should to be honest. Yet people still do, they surround me and that's what I need. So, why am I not satisfied? I know there is a light at the end of this tunnel. The tunnel of teenage-hood. But if only I wasn't less than halfway there. I still have a long journey ahead, and I'm only just starting to prepare myself for it...

**Please god, stay with me**